How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I looked at my own cervix.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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