So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
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I think I won the penis lottery.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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