Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
