Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
