the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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