btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize