p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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