their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
