My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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