i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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