I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
