I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
