what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
