i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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