a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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