i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize