After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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