question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
