its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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