Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
