I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
