I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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