You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize