You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
