Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
