just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
