Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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