Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
