I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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