So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
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I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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