why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
