i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
