Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
