Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
