dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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