Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
