I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
