If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize