billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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