Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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