I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
