third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
