My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
