I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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