Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
