hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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