forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
