We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
