You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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