I think i peed on brittanys purse
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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