and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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