he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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