So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
