Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
