There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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