bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
