thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize