I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
